Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
Perhaps you too have the same aspirations at heart. And whether you have joined in an organization of volunteers or not, it doesnt matter for as long as you do things for others even of others do not recognize them, then you are already a volunteer! Find that volunteer in you! God made us all volunteers in various ways: for our spouse, for our family, for our friends, for our love ones and for various communities!
Saturday, August 2, 2008
It's been such a long time since I got a time to pick up a book and read it cover to cover, until a week ago and its refreshing to be transported back again to new learning.
Well, its not that the concepts are totally new to me since I am a graduate of BS Psychology, somehow many terms have been familiar to me especially the discipline and the field itself.
What interest me about this book is perhaps its relevance to my present status in life as a married person. Since the time I got married, I have been preoccupied with many peculiar adjustments about myself to the point that reading seems the last priority. After long years of continuous study, my mind seemed to explode in many things that I learn and I find emptiness if I am unable to apply them in practical situations of life. And so when I finally got the chance to take hold and read a book, I felt refreshed. And I am seeing it from the point of view of a married woman.
The book I am talking about is the "Personality Plus" written by Florence Littauer. In the book she discusses four basic types of personality. Although I have encountered more types in other psychological theories, I find her description simple and easy to remember.
Before I read the book, I took the Personality Profile Test related to it. Thus, prior to reading it thoroughly, I have already identified what type of personality I got. Somehow the results truly show basic characters of me. I got the combination of the two types. What inspires me more as I read through it is the fact that the author who is a woman, has the same combination of personality type that I got and the man she married is possessed with the same personality combination that my husband got. So I can truly relate to her experience.
She pointed out that the four basic types of personality are the following: Popular Sanguine, Perfect Melancholic, Powerful Choleric and Peaceful Phlegmatic. Each of these personality types has its own strengths and weaknesses and although she discusses only four types, she recognizes that at any rate, each individual remains unique, only that he has certain inclination and methods of understanding the world around him.
Popular Sanguine are extrovert, talker and optimist. They have appealing personality, life of the party, sincere at heart, always a child, cheerful and bubbling over, wide-eyed and innocent, physically holds on to listener, good sense of humor, good on stage, changeable disposition, lives in the present. These are basic emotions of a popular Sanguine. At work, a popular sanguine volunteers for jobs, thinks up new activities, looks great on the surface, creative and colorful, has energy and enthusiasm, inspires other to join, charms others to work and starts in a flashy way. As a friend a popular sanguine makes friend easily, loves people, thrives on compliments, seems exciting, envied by others, doesnt hold grudges, apologizes quickly, prevents dull moments and like spontaneous activities. These are basic strengths of a Popular Sanguine.
Then Littauer also described the second type of personality, the Perfect Melancholic.Emotionally, Perfect Melancholic are deep and thoughtful, analytical, serious and purposeful, genius prone, talented and creative, artistic, philosophical and poetic, appreciative of beauty, sensitive to others, self-sacrificing, conscientious and idealistic. At work, a Perfect Melancholic is schedule-oriented, perfectionist, high standard, detail conscious, persistent and thorough, orderly and organized, neat and tidy, economical, sees the problems, finds creative solutions, needs to finish what is started and likes chart, graphs,figures,lists. As a friend, a Perfect Melancholy makes friend cautiously, content to stay in the background, avoids causing attention, faithful and devoted, will listen to complaints, can solve other's problems, deep concern for other people, seeks ideal mate and moved to tears with compassion.
The third type as Littauer discussed is the Powerful Choleric. On emotion, he is born leader, dynamic and active, compulsive need for change,must correct wrongs, strong willed and decisive, unemotional, not easily discouraged, independent and self-sufficient, exudes confidence and can run anything. At work, a Powerful Choleric is goal oriented, sees the whole picture, organizes well, seeks practical solutions, moves quickly to action, delegates work, insists on production, makes the goal, stimulates activity and thrives on opposition. He has little need for friends, will work for group activity, will lead and organize, is usually right and excels in emergencies.
The last type is the Peaceful Phlegmatic. The Peaceful Phlegmatic are introvert. They are low-key personality, easygoing and relaxed, calm, cool and collected, patient, well balanced, consistent life, quite but witty, sympathetic and kind, keeps emotion hidden, happily reconciled to life and all purpose person. As a worker, he is competent and steady, peaceful and agreeable, has adminsitrative abilit, mediates problems, avoids conflicts, good under pressure, finds the easy way. And as a friend, Peaceful Phlegmatic is easy to get along with, pleasant and enjoyable, inoffensive, good listener, dry sense of humor, enjoys watching people, has many friends and has compassion and concern.
Those are just the basics of each personlity type. If you are able to read the book in its entirety, you will see how we can improve and complement in each other. After reading it, one will realize that God after all created us with our own strengths and weaknesses. We are indeed unique. All of us has something to give and must be willing to receive.
And if you are to know how did I score in the self-examination test: I scored in almost same figures of a Popular Sanguine and a Powerful Choleric. And I suppose that my husband is a Melancholic and a Powerful Choleric. You can only imagine how both of us struggled in our marriage. I would like to achieve in things but I want to do it in a fun way, not serious. But my husband would also like to accomplish things but he does it very seriously. And since we both want are ways done, we ended up imposing on each other what we think is the best approach.
When I was done reading the book, it somehow enlightened me. And instead of suffering for my husband's melancholic character, I try to understand that its how he is made by God. In that fashion, I would be able to minimize the duel in our household. (By the way, he is starting to read the book now. I am hopeful it would help him understand my nature too. :-)
In all these, I have come to realize that truly all of us is essential for each other. Sometimes, we find it hard to understand our own brothers or sisters or mother or parents or siblings or children or friends, relatives, people in the communtity we got ourselves involved into but if we also take a look at their basic profile, we shall also unburden ourselves for the pain they have caused in us which in truth and in fact, they do not mean to cause. It is just their nature.
And indeed the journey to personality improvement is a constant effort and having read such a book at this point in my life, have greatly aided me.
But then again, we must always connect all this to One Who made us. Human understanding is a mere tool. Understanding God Himself and listening to Him remains to be the solid foundation as to how we look at other people and how we understand ourselves.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Perhaps there is no word in the world that best describes the essence of every man than the word LOVE.
Love is first and foremost the very definition of God when we say God is love. And since all of us comes and is created by God, then by Divine Right, none of us are exempted to this great meaning of Love.
Every human person born, whether wanted or not by his parents (unfortunately many children are born to parents who do not want them), are made to be loved and to love in return. In many psychology books I have read, every single person wears an unseen word "Please give me attention" and this unseen words are displayed in various forms of behavior just so other people would notice them especially from people who are significant to them like their parents, siblings, husband, or wife or even in friendly relationships. Sometimes the displayed behavior are done appropriately such as a childing wanting his parents' attention would excel in school, behave accordingly and other kinds of appreciable behavior. Nonetheless, there are those who display these unseen words in a catastrophic manner just as when a child does violent things, engaging into drugs, creation of unhealthy relationships, just so they are able to get the attention of the significant persons in their lives. But in either of these two different patterns of behavior in getting attention, one thing is certain, they are all translated into the need of a person to be loved.
This is because we are designed by God to be nurtured and to nurture in return. If there is anything we must never give up in life, it is LOVE. It is the essence of our existence. No one can live without it. We are made to show love. Whether we are raised abundantly with it from people who has touched our lives or none of it, we are nonetheless always wanting it and must give it.
Other people would probably say, how can I do that, I have never experience being loved in the first place? And how can I give something I do not have.
Well, its simple. Just know how much God loves you. He has created you in His own image and likeness. That truth alone suffices. However, from a psychological point of view, it is not achievable unless the person has underdone into counselling and therapies, and these services are not easily available nowadays and are not even within reach. As such, I suggest that one must get himself involved in communities. It could probably just be the beginning. All of us are wounded in our lifetime, some greatly, some lightly... but we must move forward. And the greatest vehicle of which is FORGIVENESS. Withour forgiveness, we are at loss. We are bound to suffer pain by our own doing. And although forgiveness is a difficult thing to do, one must deliberately choose it. Forgiveness is the only vehicle that can effectively give us love even we are also wounded by the people from whom we expect to be loved. If we are in a community trying to attain a common goal of creating change for the betterment of this world and for the rest of mankind, then little by little, healing comes. And this is what is called the ability of each one of us to become wounded healers for the others.
Apparently, love is a choice. It must be worked out. It is hard. It's really hard. But which is harder to live in suffering? Or to work it out now and eventually reach the fullness of our being, the essence why we are here in this world, why we are born in the first place, why we are where are, why we are doing what we do.
God is love. And so we are love.