Thursday, July 17, 2008

On Being Childless

I have been married for more than two years already. It's not a surprise if oftentimes I hear people asking me why don't I have a child yet...

You cannot imagine how to difficult it is to answer such question. Sometimes people assume that my husband and I deliberately refuse to have children. But there are some too who seriously are emphatic on our predicament and even offers prayers helping me and my husband storming the heavens for the gift of a child.

Several times, I have been a principal sponsor to weddings along with my husband and all those whom we sponsored are now raising their infants and kids. I have seen friends who have been married later than us and are now rejoicing in the fact of pregnancy.

Well, at first my husband thinks it was alright for us not to have children. He said he marries me for me and not because of the children I begot. But as time flew by, with all much effort and medical help we sought, and we remain childless, I could somehow sense that he too really wants to have a child pretty soon. And that only the two of us living in our home simply lacks an important person to fill our home: the gift of a child. It doesnt matter to us that we both make ourselves available in service to other people just us both of us are gifted with it. It doesnt really matter of how many people comes to us for help, or how well we find in wisdom in every situation. In all truth, we lack something. And it is not hidden from the people.

Just as I feel genuinely happy for the children born from other mothers, as I consider every child a gift from God, I cannot help but continue to hope and pray that one day,my time to experience in receiving the greatest gift a woman is possesed: that of being a mother, can actually come true.

Somehow, it cannot be denied that the faith in God that I carry inside helps me so much in staying in tranquility and at peace, carrying the truth that God's Omnipotence is greater than anything and that He knows best for all of us. In all these, I choose to keep my faith, hope and love.